I am Submerged

I am Mesmerized

This was the washing machine in our apartment in Ukraine. It's a good thing we don't have one. I don't know what it is about these things, but the minute I'd see it there in motion, I'd stop. And stare. The round and round. I couldn't tear my eyes away. I may as well have had a dangling watch swinging in front of my eyes, or a tranquilizer dart in my hind quarters because I was hooked...and soothed. I loved it.

I am not a Slavic Beauty

After spending 10 days among the women of Ukraine, I became sure of two things:

1. They won the gene pool lottery and-

2. I am no Ukrainian.

They are beautiful. All of them. And that fact made me sure of two more things:

1. I have no idea why my husband chose me after looking at that caliber of woman for two years and-

2. There's nothing that a little dark lipstick and high heels can't improve.

I am Marker Material

Some men write music

Some men write poetry.

My man writes on the bathroom wall.